I'm Back?

Well...I'm back after 374 days and it seems I was ahead of the curve when I left! I checked many of my links to my favorite pages and most have gone off like I did or changed their addresses to other pages, some of which I can't get to. For me the year has been both good and bad but isn't that just like life? I have to wonder if they all felt the same strain as me in that every detail of my life at one point, was being filtered through the eyes of this blog. I would wonder how I should write this event or that experience and what emphasis I would put on it. It was very distracting! I have my life somewhat back in order but way out of line in others. And that is what will follow in future posts. Leave a comment if you found me here!
XOXOXO

More To Life Than This

You could say that I've been to the mountain and it changed me forever. Over the past few months, I've been searching for answers to my life for this past traumatic year. The problems aren't over yet and there are more looming on the horizon but I feel at peace on how it will affect me. I will move on.


I made my first trip to Europe this past week. While I was there, I ventured up to the Alps. It is beautiful though ever changing in the surrounding environment. One minute clear blue skies, the next a cloud crashes into it and snow begins to fall. Yet the mountain remains the same. One has only to walk a short distance in its' presence to be in awe of its' majesty and power. It also helps to be short of breath as the air is quite thin up there. Life there...hangs precariously in the balance as the mountain watches what happens below. It will do you no harm but it won't help you either. The mountain just silently watches...and waits...for a mistake that can come too quickly for the unfortunate soul who wanders to the wrong place or overestimates their own abilities and resolve.

I had an epiphany there. Life on this high mountain is almost virtual in that is wasn't meant to be. Life isn't welcome there. It has no place to take root and support must come from below or the flame WILL go out in the soul who looses that support.

I've realized that my life, my secret life on the net and in the shadows of my real world, are just as precarious as the mountain top. I can't sustain either without the sustenance I need from the real world. I've decided that I need to leave the mountain for good and focus my attention, my desire, my love on those who support me for real. They are the ones who will be there when I hurt and likewise, I need to be there for them. The time has come for me to remove my head from the clouds and regain my focus on my wife and family. They need me as much as I need them.

So this is goodbye. I've appreciated all of you who were there for me this past year and even for those of you that just stopped by to say hello. I'll miss you all but there are miles to go before I sleep and many bridges to cross in the valley. We'll all move on and be none worse the wear.

adiós mis amigos